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Know any corny jokes?

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  • Know any corny jokes?

    I'll start it.

    A rabbi, a priest, and a nun walk into a bar.
    Only two say ouch.

    One was a midget!


    post your corny jokes here...

  • #2
    a man dies and at the pearly gates GOD said you can ask one question and i will give you the answer.

    man- any question i want?

    GOD- yes anything you want

    man- okay, who really killed JFK?

    GOD- lee harvey oswald

    man- by himself?

    GOD- yes, he acted alone

    Man- damn, this goes higher up than i thought.
    Last edited by Eli_462; 01-11-2019, 09:05 PM.


    • #3
      Let's see if this thread gets interesting.
      I am always down for a good joke. Corny or not.
      TMB Forum Administrator

      I am always watching.
      Be kind to each other.


      • #4
        at my local store.. the assistant said to me.. you are approx 5ft.. dark eyes and blonde
        i said yes and??

        she said.. you are approx 5ft.. dark eyes and blonde hair
        so i said yes i know,. and??

        she repeated,, you are approx 5ft, dark eyes and blonde hair

        getting pissed off i said WHY do you keep telling me that??

        she said.. OH its a repeat description


        • #5
          LOL ... good ones so far!

          Here's mine....

          A German Shepherd, Doberman and a cat have died.

          All three are faced with God who wants to know what they believe in.

          The German shepherd says: "I believe in discipline, training and loyalty to my master."

          "Good," says God. "Then sit down on my right side. Doberman, what do you believe in?"

          The Doberman answers: "I believe in the love, care and protection of my master."

          Ah," said God. "You may sit to my left."

          Then he looks at the cat and asks, "And what do you believe in?"

          The cat answers: "I believe you're sitting in my seat."
          TMB Moderator

          Message me if you have questions about the forums or the game.


          • #6
            Whats the worst part about locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic.

            Going in to ask for a wire hanger.


            • #7
              whats the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman???



              • #8
                Freak, Mykelanz, beva, malvo, and shayne were sitting in a hot tub when a blob of semen rose to the surface.
                Malvo said.. " all right, who farted? "


                • #9
                  That's gross.

                  Let's keep it civil.

                  There are plenty of threads bashing people, let's keep this one neutral.
                  Thank you.
                  TMB Forum Administrator

                  I am always watching.
                  Be kind to each other.


                  • #10
                    how did the tmb moderaters get hurt raking leaves??

                    They fell out of the tree.


                    • #11
                      Super Moderator, thank you.
                      TMB Forum Administrator

                      I am always watching.
                      Be kind to each other.


                      • #12
                        I took my Dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. (he is 71). We decided to grab a bite to eat at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors - green, red, orange, and blue.

                        My Dad kept staring at him. The teenager kept looking and would find my Dad staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked: What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?

                        Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; I knew he would have a good one! In classic style he responded without batting an eyelid:

                        "Got drunk once and screwed a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."


                        • #13
                          After a lovely date, a young man drops his girlfriend off at her house. He is ready to get home...the food is not agreeing with his stomach. He really needs to fart.
                          She talks him into coming inside to meet her parents.

                          He thought, "Ooh goodness, I need to fart!"
                          Once inside, everyone is seated in the family room.
                          The family dog, Butch, comes over to inspect the young man.
                          The young man thinks, "Hmm...maybe this is my way to let a little gas out. Maybe they will blame the dog."
                          He lets out a small bit

                          The dad tells "Butch!"

                          Young man: "It's working. Now just a little more."
                          Once again he lets out a little larger fart.

                          Dad:"Damn Butch!!"

                          Young man: "Oh yea, they are blaming the dog. Now to let it all out so I can finally relax."

                          Kid let's it all out. The room is full of funk.

                          Dad yells again..." DAMN IT BUTCH!! GET AWAY FROM HIM BEFORE HE SHITS ALL OVER YOUR HEAD!!"
                          I come in peace. I didn’t bring artillery. But I’m pleading with you, with tears in my eyes: If you fuck with me, I’ll kill you all.

                          Gen. Mattis


                          • #14
                            That time Hitler ordered a glass of juice and the rest is history…..
                            Shine Bright!