So here we are another round, another week of dead whores and hitmen, littering the streets of TMB. Another week of hurt feelings, big loots and even bigger egos, coming to the forefront in this world of The Mafia Boss.

COMETH THE HOUR, COMETH THE MAN: TMK took last MAIN ROUND 983 and it seemed, emphatically denied any and everyone access to the top spot. Somehow it seemed he was holding back on the FAMILY ranks - it looked like IU could take gold there also. Is TMK getting soft?

I mean, the man doesn’t make much mistakes at round end, and if he does, only he knows about it. Could this be part of a new touchy-feely spirit of love and benevolence?

ShayneG isn’t helping much to foster this recent spurt of benignity,[is that even a word?] by calling TMK out on the forums. There seems to be some morbid fixation by recently married Shayne [congrats brother from all of TMB!!] to liken THE MAN to.......... a vagina. Now at this juncture...I would like to point out that the VAGINA is one of the most beautiful of Mother Nature’s caverns. I have seen pictures of TMK. He is fugly as fuck. Well at least in my heterosexual opinion; he doesn’t get my man juice flowing at all. Not one little bit.

TURBO ROUND 984 was won by ShayneG - [TURBO was his round name]. I guess this would explain the absolute lack of respect he has been showing recently to one and all. Nonetheless it was a great strategic win by Shayne, and his team, well done guys, it’s no small feat to snag the top turbo spot and a cool $508 jackpot


And there was a mishap. The moral of the story is: Skidmark United can ruin your round real fast. Actually, you don’t need to do much to get their attention. It’s not something that can be quantified....the Skids , in all their wisdom, would decide on the day who is ‘it’ and will then proceed to decimate, humiliate and shame, as much as possible, without much effort. And leave you in a bloody crying mess.

The best defence is to roll over and take it....preferably have some lube in hand.....and get even next time. As we have seen on the forums, any type of negotiation or engagement is met with extreme derision and disdain and very awkward verbal humiliation type assassination. Skids are the master Class of 2005 vale- dick-torians and have seldom, if ever, been topped by anyone else in the finer advanced nuances of round ruination.

ROKU won TURBO round 982 and it was a great win for the APO/West Coast Alliance, which now seems to have faded away and dissolved into the APO_Ascension and West_Coastra_Nostra families. What’s happening here? How do you fuck up a perfectly functioning union?

Let’s talk a bit about RONIN. These guys currently are on top spot and this means they have to date the most active looters in the game right now. Nice hustle guys!!

SPEAKING OF LOOTING - KS still seems to lead the pack followed closely by the ever present Inner Circle guys, iD and Miko.

AT THIS JUNCTURE it would be VERY appropriate to discuss the emergence of Trap_House....and their sudden high-impact appearance... and “don’t-give-a-flying-fuck” attitude to the ranks and status quo. If you look at the composition of this family, those in the know will realise that we have some serious players gathering in this family... and they are not shy to go big.

In fact you don’t need to be in the know just check the builds happening there, it’s not child’s play. These guys look like they will fuck me sideways and spit out the bones without much effort.

Uber- Trap_House Boss Kimbo_SLice had this to say about his family:

"Trap_House was founded back in round 979 when I logged in after a 6.5 year hiatus, I called Hype on the phone and he logged in, after that half round floating around talking to vets of the game we decided to make the family and make some calls, Petenasty, TPK, Spade305 and others where phoned and logged in before eor.

The next turbo we took the win, it was astatement yes, were here to play, and shake things up. No idea how long it will last but this group we have assembled is the baddest group of players I have had the honor of being apart of. Our #familyfirst motto has been doing us just fine, its great to be back playing, chatting on Skype and killing unions while still looting and doing great in the ranks, I wanna thank everyone for riding with us and cant wait to see what the future holds for the ol' stanky dirty Trap_House, couldn't do it without my right hand man Hype and TPK"

AVENGERS Seem rather quiet these days. Notwithstanding that these guys have some of the best looters and players in the game; it seems that they are taking things easy for now. It’s too quiet to be true. Something’s gonna give soon.

The return of ICS? DUCKY and KANKAKEE are seen flying the once majestic ICS banner once again under the looter family of Cellblock-Lifers. Could this be the start of something great again? What happened to V_for_Vendetta? Rumour has it he swallowed the forums whole and left.


Collector tip of the day: Collecting is a vital part of making money - but you need guys to collect and you need to make sure those guys are happy. Hustlers are a the best option for this

- You can hire those from the ‘hire’ screen from ‘Cafe Napoli’. The more you have the more you can collect.
- So on the hire screen for hustlers and hitmen, find the ‘payout’ option and put this to 100% - always remember to have this at 100% when you hire your guys.
- Once you have enough guys go to the ‘black market’ and purchase 2 million of each drug - this keeps your guys happy and helps collect more cash,
- When you are ready to collect - go back to the ‘hire’ screen and change ‘payout’ to 0% (but remember to change this to 100% when hiring more guys, 0% is just for when you are collecting cash) You’re now ready to make some money!
- Click on the ‘collect’ screen and scroll down to hustlers (on the bottom left) and select the amount of turns you wish to use - again the more you use the more the pay out

General Common Sense:

Did your mother ever teach you ‘safety in numbers’? - Well she was right. This game is the definition of safety in numbers - so a general common sense tip is - find a family quickly.

If you’re new to the game then you may get people message you to join them but if you haven’t then you can search families from the ‘family screen’ and request an invite - you will be safer in a family and they can also show you the ropes - it’s easier to learn when you have someone guiding you.

Another great reason to join a family is - IT IS MUCH MORE FUN! Family’s protect each other but also have fun along the way - being in a family is a great way to stay safe, learn the game and make some friends!


Don’t be stupid and carry loads of cash on hand - it makes you a prime target to get hit and looted. The game has two banking facilities - it’s important you use them. So if you’re in a family, contribute to the family bank regularly to reduce the amount you have on hand (this will also contribute to your families ranking)

- you can do this by clicking the ‘bank’ button and finding the ‘family bank’ on this screen, then type in the amount you wish to put in and click ‘deposit‘.
- You can only deposit 75% of your cash - your family may also have a designated ‘player bank’ - a player who holds the families money to keep everyone else’s net worth and cash on hand low - to find out who this is speak to your Boss or Consig.
- If you’re not in a family - you have a personal bank to store your cash (this is on the same screen as the family bank) - but remember you can only deposit 75% of your cash.

WON CREDITS EXPIRY: Please remember that your won credits expire after 30 days. Admin won’t always be able to verify and it’s up to you to manage your account. And we won’t always give you your credits that expired when you ask.

We at staff are not obligated to manage your account and turns, this is on you. So make sure to check your won credits expiry often and use them before hand.

So don’t cry if you ask for wont runs back and don’t get it. We at staff will help newer players on this who don’t know all the game rules..... but for older players, we will be more strict. If you know you won’t be online at a certain time then use those expiring credits immediately.

You can check your won credits expiry here: [you must be logged into a live round to check]


There are fuckwits everywhere, hackers who try to fuck sites up and steal your info or our info. Please remember to change your password regularly and update your email address to a current valid email address please, this is super important for every online site you have to login to.

- If you didn’t change your password and update your email in the past few years then please do so ASAP.
- For email update contact ADMIN, we will do this for you.
- To update your password, you can do this on the “MY ACCOUNT” Link.

As always, be good, be nice, be humble, and the world will be a better place. Live long and prosper!

- Storm

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