Clutch's "TMB_2018" All-Star Dream Team

There are many teams in TMB and they all have their key members that fulfill specific roles to ensure their family/union's success each round... but what if you could pick your dream team of 30 members to make up a new family, and all your invites had to be accepted?

Who would you pick? Would you build a balanced family? Would you stack the invites towards level 4 collectors? Do you pick looters-only to make a statement? Do you fill the family with killers and zero-out the entire game? Who's in charge? Who's banking? Who's running EOR? These are all questions you would have to figure out before you send any invites.


In this blog, I'm going to give you my 30-player dream team for who I would go with, and what their roles would be. In addition, I'll try my best to justify each pick with a little blurb about each player. There are a lot of mafiosos in TMB, which means it's damn near impossible to pick just 30. I've tried to be as inclusive as possible, but it's more than likely that some awesome players were missed, so I apologize in advance if anyone is upset. In the end, this is just for fun, so please don't roast me too hard. Without further ado, let's take a look at my 2018 dream-team!

--- HONOURABLE MENTIONS ---

Before we get into the actual list of 30 members, there are some honourable mentions that I need to give a shout-out, who didn't make the dream team. If this was a union, and not just a family, I would definitely bring in these 15 players to swell the ranks.


Not Currently Active: These mafiosos didn't make the dream team because they are currently inactive or missing-in-action. If they were to show up, I would most likely have to do some reshuffling of the dream-team to include them.

Tru - We know him as Inner Circle's fearless leader for the past couple of years. He's a man of few words, and one of the few folks on this game that are willing to give people second chances. Tru is great at organizing game-plans for the round, and is known to drop some serious money to make sure his team ranks.

Enid - Save your Walking Dead jokes since they'll be wasted, as she surprisingly hasn't seen the show. Enid is known for her funky personality and being a kick-ass looter when active. She's also a life-saver when it comes to finding someone to bank up when everyone else if offline.

Greasy - This man is an after-hours looting machine. Don't leave your banker unattended, because he'll loot the bots dry without saying a word, and you'll be stuck with a few hundred billion to bank. Greasy is a loyal family member and doesn't care much for being ranked himself.

Bam-bam - The nephew of Viking Slap, and one of the best looters in the game... when he plays. Bam-bam was the back-to-back-to-back best looter during a few rounds in 2017, and has since been using new/random names in the rounds he's played (usually with Brotherhood family). It's entirely possible that he is still playing, but who knows what his name is, so it would be difficult to find him and send an invite.

ShayneG - Announcing his retirement in round 864 - with a promise to come back one day to use his remaining bought credits and take a turbo round jackpot - ShayneG is mostly known as being the biggest rankwhore in TMB (followed closely by yours truly). However, when he isn't playing selfishly, he shows up with large builds, huge collects, and solid hits.


Girl Power: You may notice that the majority of the members on this dream team are men. If you wanted to diversify and add some more solid and reliable female players to the family - to help even the ratios out - then these lovely ladies would be my go-to's for kicking ass and keeping the male leadership in check.

FamilyMatters - She has been a staple member of the UC_Avengers team, being the most trusted with cash (she is usually the big bank) and also an invaluable member of the TMB Staff. You'll notice that she has one of the few Community Manager badges left in the game, and that's been earned through years of contributing to the game.

Ravenkc - The self-proclaimed Queen of TMB: Raven is known for her witty short-story blog posts and player interviews. Raven is usually level 4 and very rarely goes for ranks herself. If you can handle the drama that follows her like a lost dog, then she'll make an great addition to your team. She also has many real-life family members that play, so at any time, she can make a call-to-arms and bring a solid half-dozen high level players to the family.

Leah - She's mostly known as IU's sweetheart & killer. If you're looking to add a free-killer to your family, who can rank consistently, without needing farmed KP, then you'll definitely want to send her an invite. Leah is also not opposed to throwing down won credits and building a large amount of DU's and killing for sport instead of a medal.. so watch what you say to her.

Sexy-Jag - Phoenix's family boss and former don of Warhounds union, Sexy-Jag has definitely got some experience under her belt. She's not exactly the most active player in the game, but if you need some female leadership in your family to play devil's advocate, she's more than capable to step up to the plate. She is also a lot of fun to chat with for when you want to shoot-the-shit.

Dusk - If Raven is the Queen of TMB, then Dusk is definitely the Princess, in line for succession. She's mostly known for "not giving a f..." and taking shit from no one. Dusk has a ton of experience, as the leader of LOCO_GHOSTS family, and isn't afraid to get her hands dirty with a good war once in a while.



Strong Replacements: These players are as strong as the mountain from Game of Thrones, and therefore, would be excellent candidates if anyone from the dream-team didn't show up. They're all active players with a history of TMB success.

Renzi - He's unpredictable and reliable. You know he's going to show up and contribute to the family each round, but he'll surprise the game every now and again, by taking a run at the JP. He's got a few of them under his belt, and would definitely be someone to watch out for if he ever made his own family.

Dub - Known for being an Inner Circle loyalist, he's always game to throw down and help the family. Dub is friendly guy who's just looking for a good time. He usually plays as a level 4 collector.

Torm - Inner Circle's most trusted consiglier, and not a bad poker player. He doesn't talk shit unprovoked, and is a team player - through and through. If you need a trusted collector who's definitely going to send everything he has up at EOR, then Torm is the mafioso for you.

Snoman - The last, but not least, member of the Inner Circle trio - which I recommend all be invited as a package deal - is Snoman. He's an Original Outlaw to the bone. He's racked up 88 family medals in only 2 years, and has done so without developing any hate on the forums -- that's a feat in itself.

12 - Twelve comes from the Brotherhood camp. It's safe to say that this is a feisty one. "Thick skin, lube, and a butt plug," are needed if you plan on surviving the round with 12. Expect big builds, solid collects, and a whole lot of shit-talking.


--- LEADERS ---


Every family needs a solid leadership in order to succeed each round. Most families would collapse in a state of anarchy, so to keep everyone in line, one player is chosen to lead the group, and they then have the option of appointing a 2nd-in-command (aka. consiglier). These two players must make sure that no one is sabotaging the family, all while continually developing and adjusting game-plans for everyone to follow.


BOSS: The mafioso with the final say. Responsible for: handling any family conflict, inviting predetermined players to the family, and assigning potential tiers (to the "EOR Cash Handler").

1. LuckyNate - This is a player who's literally seen it all. He's perhaps one of the most underrated leaders in TMB, which is mostly due to him not having his own family. Don't get it twisted... this guy is a chess player and most of us are only playing checkers. Nate is easy to get along with and has a firm no-bullshit policy. He's a boss you can trust.

CONSIGLIER: The mafioso in charge when the boss isn't around. Responsible for: handling any conflicts with other families, filling family spots when predetermined invites don't show up/join, and recommending candidates for potential tiers to the family boss.

2. Domenico - He's known by all as the leader of the - currently - longest standing consistently placing indy family: Nameless. His motto is, "for the 29 mother-f***'ers next to me!" That pretty much says it all. He's subbed-up and collecting every round, and almost always finds a way to get a medal for a low-level player in his family. He's competed with the best of the best, and can turn on the beast-mode at any given moment.

EOR CASH HANDLER: The mafioso who runs the end of round. This player is maxed right at the start of the last hour in the round, and then everyone in the family unbanks and sends their cash to the "EOR Cash Handler." The family boss will provide the 'ECH' with their request for tiers and family rank. The 'ECH' must - to the best of their ability - try to satisfy the request of the family boss at EOR.

3. Hollywood_Hubert - Most of TMB knows him as Eli, from the forums. This mafioso has been on a steady incline over the past 3 years, leading his family, UC_Avengers, from an unstoppable indy family to a juggernaut union. He's been there, done that, and is ready to do it again. TMB has seen 'HH' pull some rabbits out of his hat at EOR to secure tiers, family ranks, and even jackpots. This is the guy you want running EOR.


--- BANKERS ---



Bankers are some of the most underrated players in the game. Unfortunately, you never truly realize how good your family's banker is until you've lost a good one, and their replaced by someone 'half-assing' it. The banker facilitates keeping cash that the family is generating protected, through any means necessary.


BANKER: The player that everyone sends their loot and excess collects to. Responsible for: initiating bank rolls, setting bulk 'safeties' to trusted members, and actively aiming to keep the 'Big Bank' above 70% of the family's networth, while keeping their own banked cash percentage as low as possible.

4. Clutch - Of course I put myself on the dream team! How could I not? Everyone knows the infamous stories of Captain Clutch pulling all of the family's cash to rank himself... but what people forget about those stories is that if they're true, then Captain Clutch is also the king of consolidating family cash. Keep my banked cash low + have a trusted 'Big Bank' = no way for any 'dirtyclutching' to occur.

CASH HOLDER (BIG BANK): The player with the most cash banked in the family at any given time throughout the round. Responsible for: being online at scheduled times for the banker to bank them up, helping initiate/run bank rolls, and sending their cash to the 'EOR Cash Handler' at end of round.

5. BlackSwan - From IOU union to IC union, she's been a huge part of the leadership going into many gold medal union wins. BlackSwan is no stranger to TMB strategy, and is a jack-of-all-trades. She has proven many times that she can be trusted to send huge amounts of banked cash at EOR and is great at running bank rolls too.


--- COLLECTORS ---



Collectors are the backbone of any solid family. They're relied upon to build their OP's to optimum amounts, and produce massive collects during the second half of the round. Their generated cash usually makes up the majority of the family's money, unless the looters are incredibly active.


6. BliZzArD_420 - He has the 'West Coast' mentality of live and let live. Blizzard always builds hitmen and hustlers, but very rarely attacks others, even if his family is at war. Everything he earns goes right back into the family, and he can be counted on to provide a nice EOR boost with his final collect.

7. KANKAKEE1 - Much like Blizzard, Kankakee1 almost always builds hitmen and hustlers, but unlike Blizzard, he's definitely game to roll up his sleeves and start making some hits when called upon. He's a turbo round phenom - with huge collects - and is one of the only players that can go into the turbo round with the same name as he uses in the main round, and not get killed.

8. Lopov - This guy has more total medals than you can count, which is why he usually hides them -- to prevent you from getting a headache looking at them. He's the man at the helm of the IU_RU_HQ powerhouse, which has collectively won more jackpots than any other active family or union. That should say it all.

9. TMK - He's right at the top of list when it comes to total jackpot wins. He's sitting on his throne, made out of 39 level 4 gold medals. It's no surprise that he's Lopov's consiglier. He'll take on an entire team of collectors single-handedly in the last few minutes of the round, and still find a way to win with ease the majority of the time. TMK = The Mafia King?

10. Babbo - With Tru stepping down as Inner Circle's leader/don, Babbo has been the man to step up and fill his shoes. He's been a staple in the IC leadership for years, and has given TMK a run for his money more times than anyone else has. He has the strategy, patience, and wallet to pull off a win at any given time.

11. Teds - We have another real-life relative joining the Viking Slap/Bam-Bam trifecta. Teds is one of TMB's loose-cannons - usually playing under the Inner Circle banner. He's known for building huge early in the round and openly challenging folks to compete for the jackpot. Expect huge collects and high personal banks, which keep him well out of range of anyone else.

12. BigAnt - He's TMB's dark knight, sporting only a 1-year tenure, but with 47 family gold medals, and 5 jackpot wins. BigAnt only plays in the top families that the game has to offer. He doesn't mess around with TMB politics, and keeps a core group of players close to heart. He's more than capable of tipping the scales in your favour if it becomes necessary.

13. Klown - He's the odd man out in this group of collectors. Known mainly as the behind-the-scenes leader of Warhounds union, Klown has steadily built a reputation for himself as the underdog when it comes to ranking. Just when you think his team isn't a threat, they morph into mighty Power Rangers and make a run for the top. He often arranges subscription packages for the family, and isn't afraid to add in some credits at EOR for a collect to boost the family to the next rank above them.

14. ShaneSimpson - He has 133 family medals with only a 4-year tenure -- this guy knows what it takes to rank the team. Shane is usually built fairly large, and often brings in massive collects to put his family in contention for a top spot. He's a bit of a loud-mouth, but you can count on him to be a solid collector each round.

15. DirtyNick - The man who runs the Brotherhood. Nick has gone toe-to-toe with the best of them, and has pretty much seen it all. Most recently, he was able to get the entire Brotherhood union to merge into one indy family (which was no easy feat). This is a man with sway, and when he speaks, people listen. As long as you're not counting on him to run EOR - the king of 'dirtyclutching' - you're in good hands.


--- LOOTERS ---



Looters are pretty much the support team for the family. They use their turns to loot the bots, and help as much as they can with bank rolls. Each of these looters have had many rounds where they loot many trillions. An active looter can generate much more cash than an average level 4 collector, so if you have a solid group of looters in your family, you can seriously do some damage in a main round.


16. Triggerman23 - The best looter in Inner Circle (though Babbo is currently trying his best to take the crown). Triggerman isn't opposed to putting the team on his back, when needed, and looting enough for the entire team to rank. He's also one of the most reliable members for showing up at turbo EOR, and often contributes his saved credits towards large turbo round collects.

17. Reckaholic - He's the new-found right-hand man of UC_Avengers (since they created their own union, and left the indy family ranks). He's had many rounds with 40K+ attacks, and is also known to throw down big in turbo rounds. He's one of the most active players currently in the game, and he loots like a bat out of hell.

18. Zodiac - He is known as the man that absolutely cleared out round 866. He filled a family with almost exclusively new players, and single-handedly looted enough to take union gold. Zodiac is the real deal when it comes to looting. He's one of the few players who can handle a level 4 subscription for an entire round of looting, and not waste a single turn.

19. LaCosta - This man is known for his ICS affiliations, but has recently taken up arms with UC_Avengers. In only a few rounds, he's looted up a storm, earning him a solid handful of gold family medals, and even a turbo round jackpot win. LaCosta is no joke -- he's also a big fan of hitting other looters while looting.

20. Grobar - He's the Brotherhood workhorse. Grobar consistently throws down rounds where he has 25K+ attacks, earning far more money looting with his subscriptions than if he built and collected.

21. Gale997 - There was a time when no one could match Gale's looting efforts. He started out in Legends union, and looted an absolute killing for them each round. He's had the 'most total hits in a round' over a dozen times, and still insists that he will, "loot your family into 1st place for just $200 PayPal."

22. DMX - When Klown isn't pulling off ridiculous last-minute EOR collections, it's often DMX's looted cash that makes the difference between Warhounds ranking or not. He's put the team on his back more rounds than I can count, and is very unselfish when it comes to medals -- having only: a level 3 silver and level 1 bronze, over the past 12 years of playing.

23. J-Money - Without J-Money, FoundHell would most likely not still be a top 3 indy family. His dedicated and consistent looting has been amounting to over 50% of the family's cash each round, as of late. He hasn't earned a family gold medal yet, so the dream team could be his chance to complete his set.

24. Pro - Known as the Boss of Shinobi -- Pro has made a name for himself as the man who can take a handful of players no one has ever heard of and rank with the with best of them. When he's on his game, he can certainly compete with any other looters for the 'most hits in a round.'

25. Fixer - With 187 family medals, and 47 total level 3 medals, he is definitely one of the most decorated looters in the game. Fixer has put FoundHell on his back a few times, and has had experience playing with most of the top-level families in the game. He's had his own share of rounds with the most hits, and isn't opposed to going level 4 and building/collecting either.


--- KILLERS ---



Every family needs a handful of killers to keep the rest of the game on their toes. They mostly serve as deterrents for other families that may be thinking of attacking yours, but they also step up to the plate when there are some assholes that need to be killed. These guys build bigger than anyone else, and hit like a freight train at EOR.


26. Spade - This guy has 56 killer gold medals, and 94 family killing gold medals. Spade is definitely who you want on the forefront of your defensive efforts. I'm pretty sure this guy holds the record for most KP gained during a turbo round... and don't forget the 12 jackpots he's won either.

27. Mitsui - She's one of the game's most successful all-time killers, with 72 gold medals. Mitsui is not only one of the best killers in the game, but also one of the best looters. It's often better for families to not kill her, otherwise, she'll turn to looting and leave the competition a mile behind.

28. 23 - This man doesn't usually kill for medals, he kills for strategy -- zeroing his targets and then pillaging their OP's. This is also the guy that will zero your 2M+ DU's for 10K KP because he doesn't like your profile picture. Twenty-three is a loyal family member, and often uses his scaled OP's to throw down some big collects at EOR -- which has earned him 22 jackpots over the years.

29. Rizzky- He hasn't played many rounds as of late, but when he does show up for the odd round here-and-there, you better hold onto your hats because you're in for a ride. This guy will build with zero f***'s given. He's not here for the KP, but isn't afraid to zero the game out during the final day to lock in a medal. Rizzky is an attack dog, itching to be let off his leash.

30. YK - Every family has that one guy who builds DU's only, adding in more credits than they can possible get in return for the round, and YK does this better than anyone else. What do you do when you have nearly 3 million credits to use? ... hire 30M thugs and bodyguards, of course! He hasn't stacked up many medals, but he puts on a hell of a show when he goes in.


--- THE END ---



So what do you think? Is this the dream team that would dominate TMB for the rest of 2018? Let us know in the comments below if you think I missed any vital members, disagree with my choices, or if your name was mentioned -- would you accept the invite to join? Bonus points to anyone who comments with their list of 30 players. This was all in good fun, so hopefully no one is offended if they were left out. Until next time... this is Clutch signing off!



Click here for larger image: http://i63.tinypic.com/295ecjs.png