H8terade is back with his latest blog entry: Advice to Noobs. In this day and age, it is pretty much a chaotic atmosphere for all players. This is even more so to the new players of The Mafia Boss. In part one of this series, H8terade explains why everyone hates noobs and why they are delayed in inviting them to their family.

H8terades Advice For Noobs
Part I: Everybody Hates You

Back in the day, everyone used to put out these bullshit training manuals. I think that the last one that I personally saw was produced over 100 rounds ago. They were so dry that they weren’t even tolerable on the john. You’d print it off, sit on the porcelain throne, get about five lines in, and end up wiping your ass with it instead because it was such a bad read. So I’m going to try something a bit different because to do something traditional would be boring and the rules are changing so fast, it’d be pointless to write anything down because whatever I told you would probably get changed within a few weeks or months thus rendering whatever I write obsolete.

If you’re a noob and you’ve spent a couple of weeks in this game, you might have realized that it’s pretty hard to garner much respect from anyone. You’ve probably been treated like garbage and insulted by someone that has attacked you or by a fellow family member or your boss for some reason that fly’s far over the backside of your head. There are two probably reasons for this.

Reason #1: You’re an idiot.

In most games, there are differences between newbs and noobs. Newbs or newbies are simply people who are new to some task and are very beginner about it. They are sometimes overconfident but are willing to fix their errors and move out of this stage. Noobs on the other hand, know little and have no will to learn any more. They may expect to become “top dog” and “run the game” in as little as 0.4 seconds. Noobs also have a tendency to come up with “new ideas” that others have tried at least 50,000 times to no avail by others preceeding them. They are very easily angered and usually have terrible grammar and spelling to the point that you could slam your face into your keyboard repeatedly and come up with something more logical and coherent than they could.

Most noobs have a tendency to repeatedly ask stupid questions and occasionally have the ability to give extremely stupid answers as they are ignorant bastards. Now this game at it’s base level is free, so we get a lot of noobs here. Now, we don’t really distinguish noobs from newbs in this game. But one great way to tell the difference between the two is to let them know what rule they are unknowingly breaking. If they respond by apologizing to all parties involved and fix their error, they are probably not a noob. If they respond by pitching a fit and/ or causing a bunch of general mayhem, it is because they are a noob and have had a small seizure due to the understanding that they cannot comprehend what is happening around them.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of the community lumps noobs and newbs into one category in order to make sure that they completely avoid noob infestations on The Mafia Boss. Because of this, they have a low tolerance for mistakes and BS from their new membership But you can avoid from being treated like garbage from your boss or family by simply fallowing instructions and by not repeating the same mistakes over and over again.

Reason #2: Most people in this game suck.

On the front page, The Mafia Boss is described as being “a free web based Massive Multiplayer Online Game, based on the Real Mafia Life so called La Cosa Nostra,” which is a fine description as far as the basic mechanics of the game goes. But it should read as being “a free web based Massive Multiplayer Troll Base, based on the Real Mafia Life so called La Cosa Nostra.”

Most people that have been playing this game for longer than a year or so generally become bored and apathetic with the game. They stay only because of their family or friends and aleviate their boredom by insulting everyone not in their immediate family the way that a bored monkey throws poop at random victims at a zoo. Most of their comments are random and baseless and only serve to get a Mafioso’s panties in a wad so that they can laugh about it with their friends over Skype or on their family boards. Or they may be lifelong career noobs. Either way, you will rarely if ever be able to garner their love and respect. It’s usually just part of the game. The best way to go about dealing with these people are to just ignore them or kick their asses repeatedly.

No one ever gets along on The Mafia Boss, but if you choose to find a good family and learn to play the game correctly in a reasonable amount of time, you can eventually make many close friends and enjoy the game even if you do occasionally get grief from some random moron.

Till next time!

Interested in writing a blog? Message Silhouette and Harmony for details.

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