TMB Love, Life and Sex Column

TMB Pimps, Queens and Desperados Ask Raven for Advice, to sort out their TMB loves, ball rashes, or sexual dreams about Administrator Storm!

Truly a colorful insight into the LoVe, LiFe and SeX of The Mafia Boss.

Dear Raven, I have been after this guy for a while now, yeah he plays TMB, but he keeps toying with me, and now he is in this family with some other TMB female player, I can tell he is flirting with her, what should I do!!?? – Killa_Princess

Hi Killa!, What you should do is team up with some amazingly sexy supporter killer and kill them both, their family and their union!! Then make fun of them haha NO I am kidding… This guy is not worth it babe, so you need to move on, If he has played with your real emotions and then moved on even if it is in an online game- then he is not worth pissing on if he was on fire. I suggest you kill them- him and his slut- ignore every message and trust no cunt in TMB again!

Dear Raven, I am having trouble with my real life GF, I really want to try anal sex with her but, I dunno how to go about asking?? Or even begin to start doing it, what’s your advice? – Storm

G’day Storm, well… this sort of scenario can be best practiced in the shower or bath, you will also need some lubrication on hand as well. I don’t think you need to ask, so to speak,, I think whist you are having hot slow sex, you can simply ease it into her arse while you are fingering her pussy to give an extra orgasm that she will enjoy- don’t say anything if she is loving it, there will be no problems!!
Dear Raven, I need your help!! I was shaving my balls yesterday and then I got this awful rash around my balls and on the inner parts of my legs!!! Omg, how can I impress my girlfriend when I have a fucking rash there!.. I have a date tonight, I was hoping to get sex but what can I do now??- Da_Secret

Da_Secret, well first mate you need to sort your balls out, I suggest you go to your local chemist they will suggest a cream or powder for you, and in future use a better razor or you may want to consider waxing your balls. Also if you are going on a date tonight you may not want to shave the balls within that particular time perhaps a day or 2 days before.. and to be honest women don’t really care if your balls are shaved. It’s kinda like weird if you ask me. Secondly, because now you have the rash- dude sex is off! You don’t want her to see it I am sure, so I suggest dinner and a movie… If you don’t want to drop her home too early have a quiet chat- IF it turns sexual, have a passionate kiss, you could tell her you respect her a lot and care for her, perhaps offer to go down on her and make all her dreams come true. In fact this could be the angle you could go on, putting your woman first she would be truly blown away (literally).

Dear Raven, I really LOVE TMB and have been addicted to the game for over 5 years, but now I have a new GF and she wants me to not play!!?? Wtf what do I do, and the more I try to stay off the game the more I dream about it, Lately I have been having sexual dreams about Storm, and I am not even gay!! But I fear the more I try to stay away could I start to have strange feelings about men?? And I really need to get online, and play The Mafia Boss, should I just dump her? – BlINd_iS_Back

Hey Blind,
Well first thing you need to consider is how important is this girl? and how long have you been with her- In my opinion anyone who comes into your life and starts demanding you stop doing the things you usually do are way out of line, control freaks, is it bothering them? Is there a balance in the relationship? I think as long as you are giving time to them and taking care of your normal life routine then they really need to throw themselves off a fucking cliff, what right do they have to tell you to stop playing TMB fuck them.

Dear Raven, Can you stop writing blogs about yourself, I mean the war news is great but I get sick of hearing about you, and to be honest it’s starting to make me day dream about you, while I am driving, even when I am taking my kids to school. I am out at night with friends and the thought of you just angers me, I mean why do you have to be so grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr the way you are just pisses me off to no end. –Drudge

Hi Drudge, I am sorry you feel that way, perhaps you need some anger management like Adam Sandler. And you really need to stop thinking about me whilst you take your kids to school; I don’t want to be responsible for a car accident ;( Truthfully Drudge you need to get a hobby, or look deep inside yourself and ask yourself, why do you hold so much anger? If you don’t like my blogs, don’t read them? Why do you continue to read them? You can book yourself an appointment with a psychologist through your local GP, I hope this path gives you some peace.
Dear Raven, I am in love with a TMB Queen, but I don’t know how to get close to her!!, she just either ignores my messages or writes back a harsh response, I try to be funny, but she takes it so seriously and then won’t respond to me for a few days!! Please help – ThottytoHottie

Hi Thotty, well maybe you need to NOT write silly things like you want to brush her arsehole during sex not on purpose, and just simply talk to her like a normal human being. Like ask her how her day is, what has she been doing, how’s work how is her health? And lead into it from there!! If you just constantly talk about sex and act retarded I expect you get a retarded response, and if you truly care about her, ask yourself why are you acting so immature.

If you are having some trouble in TMB in relation to Love, Life or Sex don’t hesitate to ask Raven for advice @ The TMB Studios.

IF we can’t FIX YOU we can Simply Kill you!! Or ram your head though a plated glass window That’s our motto as well as Kiss Storms Ring or Die!!

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